KXVU

Since the incident with Google being the target of a hacking attack from China, many of the news outlets that I keep track of have had a consistent background discussion about just how organized and authorized the attack was.  We assume that Beijing was behind the attack, at least indirectly, but there are opinions that argue it was an independent attack.  Regardless of the mechanics, I think that Beijing is still to blame, as (I think it is fair to say) the government fosters a fear and hatred of Western thought, rights, and speech.

I fully believe that there is a cultural war that will come to a head between the West, China, and Islam. Maybe it will happen all at once, maybe it won’t happen in our lifetimes, but I think it is going to be more than just gradual. Something catastrophic will happen.  But that’s beyond the immediate point: the Chinese hacking the U.S.  How should we fight back?  What is a proportional response? What would be the most effective retaliation? As we seek to improve our world, with computer controlled infrastructure, there is more and more risk of a “smart” electrical grid, or “smart” water system being crippled and causing severe harm to people.

When it comes to China, aside from the ethical issue, we will not be able to attack their infrastructure in the same way, at least not for a long time.  Separately, corporate espionage on our part will likely only reveal what they have already stolen from others.  But we still have something that Beijing fears, something the Internet embodies: open access to knowledge.

So how do we leverage knowledge into a weapon?  The counterhack should be a social hack; a computer virus that opens up / prints out / broadcasts information.  Specifically, all of the information that Beijing keeps hidden from its people.  All the horrible details of the Great Leap Forward, the Cultural Revolution, Tian’anmen Square in 1989.  Accurate historical records of the history of Tibet and Taiwan and why they are not traditionally a part of China. The number of protests and revolts that have been suppressed because of corrupt local officials.  Facts about stolen children put to work in sweatshops or sold to others. A full revelation of the number of coal mine tragedies and the Sichuan earthquake.  Put all of this information in front of the Chinese people, with sources cited, and bludgeon them over and over again with raw information until they are shamed and angered into revolting against the government.

Someone at the NSA or FBI who night read this, call your Chinese analyst buddy at the CIA and get on this.  Remember, the translations of the information have to be accurate in order to be credible.  This is the kind of attack that all Americans can get behind, has no proximate human cost, but carries the potential for severe upheaval and disruption all across China. You can thank me later.

It must be a chemistry thing, as most of the chemistry teachers I’ve known are weird dudes(usually guys, but not always).  My own stupid jokes have been well documented(recent example:  Shut off lights for a spectroscopy lab and gave direction to class “Okay, no one molest anyone else.”), but what about the bad jokes of my colleagues.

The teacher next door, when asked by a student if they could leave early:

“Sure, as soon as somebody gives me the square root of pie.”

Students grab calculators, respond with 1.7725.

“Close, but not exactly.”  2 minutes passed before they figured out why that was so funny, and then the bell rang.  The next day they said he was mean, and I told them all it was hilarious.

Another example, discussing solution to an electromagnetic radiation problem.  “That wasn’t so bad was it?”

Students, “No, it was alright.”

Teacher “Yes, it was bad.  It Hertz!”

Since we were talking about Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle I decided to tell them how Changston only 2 weeks ago gave some nihilistic philosophy based off Heisenberg.  They now know I have a friend who went to the dark side and is probably a little depressed.  I also told them how his depression might be caused by being a Raider’s fan, which received more than a few nodding heads.

I can’t make these jokes in 9th grade science or even biology, as they get distracted way too easily as it is.  That more than anything is why teaching chemistry is so much fun, even if they don’t get it.

Not that you haven’t all found out by now one way or another, but I am officially announcing Hildebeasts and my engagement.  I’ll post the longer version of this some time when I’m not at work, but we are happy and romantical and stuff, and the proposal story involves Pee Wee Herman.

No dates are set as of yet.  We’re mainly focusing our efforts on telling various family members to back the eff off.

I just walked home in the slush & snow to find 4 French-Canadians on my porch, dressed up as grapes and wine bottles, filming a video-card to a roommate who used to live in this house.  When I walked into my apartment, I walked into a conversation where one of my roommates was about to go to a sex toy party (like a Tupperware party, but with slightly different plastic products) and another of my roommates was ducking the invitation to go with because sex toys go “against her life philosophy” (which is to say she’s a little scared of sex and terribly uncomfortable talking about sexuality with anyone).

This level of complete randomness seems right in my life, and make me feel that the world is properly balanced.  Cheers.

These are not one day of links, but things I’ve been keeping on the back burner and saving up for one of these bullet point posts.

• Why do Conan Doyle’s heirs still have any copyrights in Sherlock Holmes?  They don’t even have copyrights anymore in England, because there it has properly expired. I don’t think that it is a fair deal for these attenuated descendants to continue to profit for work that was (1) not done by them (2) over 120 years ago.  Perpetual protection of intellectual property is a perverse incentive that proscribes innovation.
• The line-up for Coachella 2010. It looks like a worthwhile adventure for 3 days, even though I think I’m the only one who would be willing to camp there again.
• An interesting project, Charting the Beatles, i.e. representing relationships between lyrics and musical themes across the entire Fab Four catalog.
• It is really hard to believe, that some racist wants to start an all white player basketball league, but then again, Mass did run Red-Brown.  (Yes, I feel sick like I have bloody diarrhea from that election.)
• Reflections on the severe recession from the leading minds of the Chicago Economics school.  It is all very well argued, but it interesting to see which of them are willing to admit that they might be wrong and in what senses, if at all.

Finally, and most importantly, bless Conan O’Brien with his hilarious and vindictive comedy at the expense of Jeff Zucker, and I will make the effort to support his new show whenever it comes on.

Leroys Menswear is a Seattle retail establishment.  Apparently, they did better business before all the pimps were put in jail.

I think I’ve stated before that with Facebook available, I don’t have as much of a need to post random links here. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t post a status or link to Facebook more than once a day, which keeps my social networking addiction in check. But there are some days when there is just too much good stuff to share and comment on, thus you all get an old school set of bullets.

• There is apparently an upside to the Somali pirates, fishermen in Kenya are doing much better now that illegal commercial fishing trawlers aren’t around.
• My favorite local DC band, Exit Clov, is coming out with their first LP Memento Mori.
• Pictures from a Star Wars burlesque show, you will not find a more sexy hive of scum and villainy.
• I know none of you are going to read this, but here is some interesting insight into how and why the jurors who recently decided a patent infringement case against Microsoft made their decisions.
• As for the recent Mark McGuire revelations, oh wait, I don’t care.

The bench trial (i.e. no jury, only before a judge) regarding Prop 8 has started in the Northern District of California before Judge Vaughn Walker.  On the thought of same-sex marriage, here is what an interesting thought which has been kicking around my head for a while (and forgive me if I’ve posted this here before). What happens when someone starts a SSM church (or synagogue, or mosque, or temple)? This hypothetical church is completely identical to a Protestant church across the street, EXCEPT that it includes gay marriage as one of its sacraments, as one of the CORE TENANTS of their interpretation of the Christian faith. What then? The Freedom of Religion and Establishment Clauses in the First Amendment suggest to me that the SSM marriages would have to be recognized. As I understand it, a judge is not allowed to evaluate the merits or truth of one’s belief, only the sincerity. So the courts could not strike it down, and any State legislation to oppose the church from performing SSM would be unconstitutional. There has to be something I’m missing from my understanding of U.S. Constitutional Law, because it can’t be that simple to legalize SSM… unless IT IS that simple and this is simply a matter where no one has done this yet.

Most of the time, being the fifth wheel in SD was perfectly fine.  However, every once in a while it was … difficult being single when in the presence of two, cute, adorable, wonderful, and totally-in-love couples.   This is the a large part of the reason I chose to not go skiing; I needed the me time.  However, now orangejello and I are in that position and I’m sure that objectively, he and I with our respective girlfriends are just as nauseatingly precious.  So just what do we do on our double-dates?

For New Year’s Eve, we went to a bar on H St. in NE DC, Palace of Wonders, for a burlesque show.  Yes, burlesque, though more carnival-sideshow than Gypsy Rose.  There was some very impressive sword swallowing and fire eating by performers Tyler Fire and Thrill Kill Jill.  The bar was extremely packed and somewhat cold.  It is decorated with, appropriately, carnival sideshow posters, paintings, and things like a stuffed unicorn head.  I consider it one of the best dive bars in the city, in part because its location isn’t generally that safe.

The four of us also saw Sherlock Holmes together this weekend. It was an excellent buddy cop movie that happens to be set in Victorian England.  Robert Downey Jr. & Jude Law have solid chemistry, and Guy Richie seems to be regaining his focus as a director.  Word is that the two actors helped their director get back up on the horse following the divorce from Madonna; one can only imagine what carousing ensued. There is a blatant set up for a sequel, but as a whole the plot was tight and the pacing good. We went out for grilled chicken afterward.

So generally, outside of work, things are quite good. I am now too tired to write further, or to make my writing prettier.

I don’t know when or why this happened, or who kalleanka71 is, but setting the theme songs of 80’s TV action shows to Star Wars clips is a pretty great nostalgia mash-up.

The A-Team

MacGyver (my favorite of these mash-ups)

Airwolf (there is an Imperial version too)

Magnum P.I.  (done by TheCBVee)

Now all I can ask for is a Dukes of Hazard version.

I received an e-mail today from the university I am getting my master’s through.  Apparently I made quite the impression on my educational technology professor and when HR asked her for recommendations among her previous students my name was one of the names given.  The position is to design curriculum for online courses and to design instructional media, which I don’t actually have much experience with.  They did want someone with high school teaching experience though.  This would be a full time job and would be a total change of careers before I even got comfortable with my current one.  Anyway I turned it down before they had a chance to see on my resume I don’t have the necessary experience.